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Post by Aeryn Black on Apr 20, 2009 13:35:04 GMT -7
aeryn was quiet as she thought about it a moment.
i don't think he is anymore if he ever really was human. He doesnt seem like he's capable of any real emotions unless they are anger or causing pain. i pity him for that and also sadly a part f me wishes i had that lack of empathy too. But if it ever happened and i went crazy.. i'd have them move me far away from Chuckles, probally even despite everything away from Cam cause i couldn't let him see me like that. Even if it meant we could be together. i wish i could help him the most, I love him I wanted to marry him, I still do but wanting isn't enough."
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Post by Jamie Smith on Apr 20, 2009 13:50:20 GMT -7
Jamie nodded a little, not know what to say. "Cameron seems alright...He just seems really angry at times," Jamie said. 'I'm sure you could help him...You seem talented for this work...' she commented thoughtfully. It really did look and seem that way. Jamie sighed again. 'I wish I could find someone like that.." she said, her voice a little wistful...
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Post by Aeryn Black on Apr 20, 2009 15:48:48 GMT -7
unfortunately thats a ship i think set sail so long ago i'm pretty much now a symbol of everything he hates. he was my whole world once. now, he still is but I can't it's not right it hurts to look at him sometimes and know that I can't be with him. I want to help him not just because i love him, but because he deserves a chance to be able to defend himself. He didn't just kill those people for fun, they tormented him, hurt him and his family and I know Cameron would do anything for the people he loves. I know I was his once, I would die for that man myself if it saved him even now."
she then shook her head.
"Lets talk about something less sad shall we? do you like pop rocks?
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Post by Jamie Smith on Apr 20, 2009 16:28:08 GMT -7
Jamie nodded, agreeing silently with Aeryn. "Actually, I love them. My friends and I would drink soda and eat a bunch of those to just torment our parents...We found out a long time ago that they didn't make our stomachs exploded," she said, laughing a little. She was beginning to unwind even more as she talked to Aeryn, smiling a little. "What about you?" she asked...
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Post by Aeryn Black on Apr 20, 2009 16:51:50 GMT -7
Aeryn laughed.
my parents they don't know what a pop rock is but yes always I ate them like most people ate pixie sticks though a full bag one shot and once i even did that drank a six pack of cola and my governess was furious when i puked on the floor in front of my parents and a diinner party on their white angora rug. It was the red kind.
Aeryn smiled and giggled.
I didnt get sick from the candy it was the dinner, i hate escargot, it's all salty and stringy.. i'd rather of had a pizza that would have gone over well though.. no i don't think it would have.
She then asked.
do you like pizza, i could go for some right now even. hmmm
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Post by Jamie Smith on Apr 20, 2009 17:12:54 GMT -7
'Oh, eww," Jamie said, shuddering at the picture. Jamie nodded. "I love it...do you like Cannolis?' Jamie asked. She loved those too, and the thought of them made Jamie smile slightly. "I always ate those after dinner when I was little..." she said, her smile spreading a little.
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Post by Aeryn Black on Apr 20, 2009 17:24:47 GMT -7
Aeryn smiled as she knew to put that in her mind for later use.
"Was thinking of getting a pizza for dinner since i'm staying over tonight. So what do you like on pizza?cause i like black olives and green peppers and lots of cheese oh and pineapple is good too. I know i wont be able to eat the whole pie myself is the point.
she for the moment smiled as she thought about the cannoli's.
Yes I love them i really do they are one of my favorite foods actually.
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Post by Jamie Smith on Apr 20, 2009 17:31:29 GMT -7
(later use?)
Jamie smiled a little more. "Umm...sausage and green peppers and onions, and black olives too, those are pretty good..' Jamie said. "Ooo yes, lots of cheese, that's what makes the pizza for me anyway...' Jamie said, now grinning...
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Post by Aeryn Black on Apr 20, 2009 17:43:38 GMT -7
Aeryn smiled as she took out her cellphone and she dialed a number. she then heard the phone click on.
Yes Bella italiano? alright this is Aeryn BLack yes i would like the usual but can you add sausage and onions to that please.. also four of the other you know what i am saying.. yes a friend no i don't think so how long?
she then looked at Jamie and smiled.
"alright will see you then, yes we will yes the same account thanks also please tell your wife the gelato was excellent last time, thank you bonjourne gratci domo"
She then sat back down and said.
i think we'll eat it here or you could come to my office, I end up calling them quite a bit since when we..It's a place i've been going to for years now. They also have the best Chianti but i don't drink anymore.
She then smiled as she did she asked.
So ever thought about i don't know keeping a journal maybe it could help with your feelings as well as get your thoughts out a bit?
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Post by Jamie Smith on Apr 20, 2009 19:28:58 GMT -7
'Oh..' Jamie said quietly. "You really didn't have to do that.." she said. "But can we sit outside? I don't really like it in there.." she said, shooting a glance at the asylum. She had thought of keeping a journal, but was uncomfortable with the idea. "I've thought about it, but I..I don't know, I don't really like my thoughts out there for everyone to see and for me to go over again.." she said, shrugging a little... "There's just too many bad things for me to be able to go over in a book.."
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Post by Aeryn Black on Apr 20, 2009 19:57:49 GMT -7
Aeryn smiled a moment. your welcome and it's ok besides i needed someone to help me eat it really.
she then looked at the outside and nodded. yeah why not after all it's a nice day out and.. all really.
she then nodded when she said about the journal. yes i see your reasoning however i was thinking of it more like not for my eyes or anyone elses, but it's true if it's written down then of course someone else could rad them. howevef if you ever do get the desire to. i promise unless i ask you first I won't read it. I could hold on to it for you, maybe something we could do in theraphy, you write something abnything you want like poetry or even a story and just get some of those emotions out you know. and eventually little by little it helps i did that when Cam killed that guy to sa.. when he went to jail the first time and then as you know he hates guards so, kinda sent him here after that It's hard to see him everyday and not be able to hold him tell him how i feel but I wouldn't change it except to make it where we could be together, i need him in my life and was so surprised when they sent him here even. I wasn't expecting that you know, not really.
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Post by Jamie Smith on Apr 21, 2009 9:33:22 GMT -7
Jamie nodded a little, not knowing what to say. But she wasn't going to keep a journal...the things that she felt were so raw, so personal that she felt that she couldn't describe it in words. And even if she could, she still wouldn't do that. There was always, always a chance of someone besides Aeryn getting a hold of it and using her feelings against Jamie herself...Especially Chuckles. He seemed like he would jump at the first chance he got to do that. Jamie shivered at the thought. She grew quiet as she thought about this, her eyes gaining a shadowed,distant look.
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Post by Aeryn Black on Apr 21, 2009 9:47:18 GMT -7
Aeryn for a moment tentively put a arm around her and patted her arm.
it'll be ok i didn't mean to make you feel uncomfortable just thought it might have been able to help but it's ok you know. i think the pizza will be here soon in fact very soon."
she looked at her watch a moment and she smiled.
alright so here then theres a table over there we could use. and will pick up a couplke cans of soda what kind you like?
she asked this knowing it wasn't often she could be nice to a resident like this but here was the opportunity and she would do it.
she thought about the pizza and for a moment she got a look in her eyes as if she was experencing a hard memory which she was.
It was the night that she had first kissed Cameron their first date, they had eaten pizza and had a cannoli and she had been the brave one to lean in and kiss him. she smiled despite the pain it always brought her. He had always taken things at her pace and for that she loved him even more. but sometimes she wished he would have pushed a little more. She had a few regrets now but back then it was perfect. always perfect.
she realized now he loved her enough to put her up on a pedestal and wondered f he still saw her that way sometimes. She knew she was far from perfect really and even at times had told him she was. She had this concern for one that she was getting fat. She made a point to add some running on the treadmill to her workout.
yes it should be here, let me go and get it and i'll be right back, oh yeah sorry what kinda drink do you want?"
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Post by Jamie Smith on Apr 21, 2009 9:59:06 GMT -7
Jamie blinked a couple of times, coming back. "No, you're fine...I was just thinking..." she said, her voice quiet again as she frowned slightly, thinking again. She glanced over at Aeryn. 'What are you thinking about?" she asked curiously. "A sprite would be alright, please," Jasmie said, giving Aeryn a little smile...
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Post by Aeryn Black on Apr 21, 2009 11:47:19 GMT -7
right ok and it was nothing really just a memory of a different time is all. She then went to go and get the pizza as she did she wondered if she was going to keep feeling like this she went and got the drinks, a sprite and a diet pepsi for herself. She then saw the pizza man and gave him a hug they were old friends. She then smiled as she took her pizza back to the area, a bag on top of it and paper plates and plastic knives just in case Jamie ate her pizza cut up. She then came back smiling.
alright lets dig in yeah? she said with a smile now.
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